I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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