i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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