Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
