ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
