i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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