I wanna bring you to show and tell
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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