well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
