so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
