Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
