worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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