You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You don't make any sense
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