Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
