If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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