Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize