I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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