im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
