Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
