Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
