And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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