wakey wakey hands off snakey
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
