i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize