I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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