I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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