I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
