i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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