I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
