She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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