yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
