He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
