she was so not down for the gang bang
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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