She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
