Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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