Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
