Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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