i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
