I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
