WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
this is an emotional support booty call
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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