so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize