She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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