Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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