i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
