So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
