you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
