no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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