Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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