actually, I'm a sock model
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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