Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
