Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
