Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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