He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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