Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
