I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i now understand why vodka
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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