I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
