and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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