Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize