Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
