Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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