of course. lets lasso hookers.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
