And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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