you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
