we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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