If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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