So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
