bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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