My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
