im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A+ Viking dick
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
