it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Welp...herpes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
