Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
