my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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