Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
