Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
