Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
