Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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