Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
