They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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